COSMIC NOTE TO SELF: He Does Too Exist

When I was a teacher, I used to tell my friends about the kind of guy I wanted to spend my life with, the one whom I would pray for at marriage shrines all across Japan. My friends were all married. Maybe that’s what made them say to me, “What you want doesn’t exist.” I felt naive, like I couldn’t even hope for what I wanted. It wasn’t like I was asking the universe for superficial things like must be this tall, must be this good-looking, must earn this amount of money. God, can’t a girl ask for a man with a good heart? One who makes her feel safe? Do those things not exist anymore?

So years passed and when nothing happened in my love life, the married people became smug married people. Even I began thinking that they were right. I began to believe that what I wanted didn’t exist. Then one day, I was watching Document 72 Hours on NHK World. It’s a documentary program where they film in one place for 72 hours and interview the people who frequent there. I didn’t realize it at first but as the show went on, I realized that they were filming in Ito-ya. For those of you who love stationery, it’s a 12-story stationery dream in Ginza with a cafe on the top floor that uses the lettuce that they grow on the eleventh floor.

At one point, the interviewer approached a man who was looking for special stationery for his girlfriend of three years. He was going to propose to her and wanted to find just the right one that she would like. We later learn that ten months into dating, this man’s girlfriend got seriously ill and had to be hospitalized for six months. During that time, she was unsure if they should continue as a couple. After all, what kind of future could they have in her condition? But it didn’t matter to him. Regardless, he really cared about her and wanted to marry her. He wrote her many letters during that time. And he told her that he loved her no matter what. Luckily, she had an operation and eventually recovered. He said that she still has all his letters and will take them out every once in a while to read them.

HIs story gave me hope. Here was a man who had the chance to bolt, to choose an easier path with someone else, but didn’t. He chose to stay with her and he chose her. That loyalty and sincerity was inspiring. So yes, good men are out there in the world. They exist, people! And are willing and ready to love women like me. It definitely renewed my resolve that I can have what I want. Happy Valentine’s Day to all the people who believe.

Midnight Diner

When it comes to food, I have, in the words of my mother, a scary, almost encyclopedic knowledge of random facts as well as a photographic memory so sharp it seems like I can literally transport myself back in time to the place I had a particular meal. So, when some friends of mine asked me if I had seen the show Midnight Diner, they were surprised when I replied, “What’s that?”

For those of you who haven’t seen it, Midnight Diner is a Japanese show on Netflix about a small izakaya in Shinjuku that’s open from midnight to seven in the morning. The chef, known as “Master” has only one dish on his menu, pork tonjiru, but as long as he has the ingredients, he’ll make whatever you want. The diner has a host of regulars, but each episode is focused on one character, and how his or her story relates to a particular dish.

I binge watched a lot of the episodes initially just to see the food. But fast forward a couple years and Midnight Diner has become that warm place in the pandemic for my family. As a food person, yes, I really like the focus on a particular dish for each episode. But as this year has worn on, what I have loved more is the idea of a place where everyone belongs.

While the people who frequent this diner aren’t necessarily in the mainstream, Master welcomes

everyone, including the yakuza boss who loves to eat red hot dogs cut into octopuses, the girl with the abusive boyfriend who sleeps while waiting for her karaage chicken, the Ochazuke sisters who gossip and judge others over their bowls or rice, all while still hoping to find Mr. Right. It doesn’t matter what each character’s lot in life is or the choices that they’ve made, Master seems to feel a kind of compassion for everyone.

I was thinking as we were watching it this time, wouldn’t it be nice to know a place like Midnight Diner? Where everyone was welcome? Where there was warmth and acceptance waiting for you? At first, I thought to myself, maybe it’s a sign that I need to open a diner! But I think it’s actually this desire to create this space in myself. I think we all need a Midnight Diner, a place where we feel like we belong, where we’re accepted for exactly who we are in this moment. I know after this year, I do.

But maybe the trick is to treat ourselves with the same compassion and warmth that Master offers to all his customers. Then, we don’t have to wait for a Midnight Diner to open. Instead, it’ll always be right there inside of us. In the meantime, I hope my new blog can bring some of that warmth and feelings of home to anyone who reads it.